My mind has been rolling in mud for the past few weeks, along with my soul. They've been stuck in this muck, continually collecting bits of debris while slinging the grime with each and every attempt to escape. I've felt as if I can't return to a normal state, the happy-go-lucky mindset that springs from my character most of the time is trapped beneath all these overwhelming thoughts.
Where am I going to get a job?
Should I move to Boone or live at home?
I made the wrong decision.
I need to MAKE a decision.
What relationships should I, or shouldn't I, be in?
I should be skinnier.
I should dress nicer.
I should probably reach out to that friend more.
Who are my true friends?
I hate homework.
Why did I choose PR?
Did I make a wrong decision?
What should I do this summer?
And on.
And on.
And on...
If you think that's bad, that's only about one-thousandth of my constant thought process over the last few weeks. It can be draining. OK, not just draining. I can easily suck every inch of life out you have left in ya!
So do you have the picture yet? Are you in my world? Or maybe, you don't even need this explained to you. Maybe you are experiencing this very same thing. This process of over thinking and then being anxious about it. Everything gets harder. Homework becomes a exhaustive chore you can't make yourself even semi-concentrate on, family issues seem ten times bigger than what they are, your job is so tedious that all you can think about doing is getting home so you can change into sweats and snuggle up with a big mug of hot chocolate and veg out watching TV. And then after the anxiety of it all, you can't bring yourself to think of anything. You can't be useful in the least bit. And you think to yourself, "This is ridiculous! What am I doing?" Yet, you can't seem to fight it.
So maybe you're not in this state right now. You're on Cloud 9! Life is great, the kids are well, your parents seem to be getting along just fine (financially and emotionally), you smile as you sit in church because you know you're life is good. You know you are doing exactly what you are supposed to be doing. Or are you?
Whether you're in my position, riding along on Cloud Nine, or somewhere in between the two (just getting along), you are wasting time.
I can hear you now, "What do you mean, Elizabeth?". Well here's what I'm talking about...
As I was waddling (goodness, I hope I don't waddle...) along the other day (in my very depressed/anxious/focusing on everything that is wrong in my life), I read a devo by Blackaby called Pressing On. The verse associated with the devo is Philippians 3:13:
Here's one of the quotes I stumbled upon:
It hit me like a ton of bricks... I thought, "Elizabeth you have been so self-consumed. So oblivious to what God is doing in your life because you are focusing on the wrong thing. You want to focus on the past and what was and what could have been without even taking God's timing and guidance into consideration. Where has God played a part in your life lately?"
A couple of my good friends use the phrase "Wow..." (drawn our to its extremities, with a semi smart-alack tone). This is what played in my head as I realized I was way off the beaten path. Far from where God wanted me.
In the verse above, I bolded the part I want you all to focus on.
A little bit of background to keep ya up to par, Paul is the dude writing this book (as well as a bunch of other books you can look up). Something most people don't realize, he was in prison writing these letters. He was locked up. Away from family, friends, food (oh geeze!), the entire outside world. He was in a place where most, loneliness was his only friend; yet he says to forget your past, forget your circumstances, forget the crummy things in your life that just seem too big to handle, and PRESS ON!
I know what you're thinking, "There ain't (yes, I said ain't) no way I'm gonna be able to let go of this one. It was a doosey." But I promise you, you can...
Remember that mustard seed story? The one about moving a mountain? Well he says in Matthew 17:20:
So whatever it is you're trying to let go, whether it be a moment of darkness or a loss of friend, just let Him have it. Give the issue to Him. Because if we remain focused on what has been we may lose the opportunity God has for us.
And if you're not in a rut and life is great, make sure you're pressing on towards HIS goal, not your own. Otherwise, we may miss a step in God's awesome adventure in our lives. And I don't know about you, but I do NOT wanna waste life's precious minutes. I wanna live life to its fullest, led by a loving God who has amazing plans in store.
In your shoes,
Elizabeth
So maybe you're not in this state right now. You're on Cloud 9! Life is great, the kids are well, your parents seem to be getting along just fine (financially and emotionally), you smile as you sit in church because you know you're life is good. You know you are doing exactly what you are supposed to be doing. Or are you?
Whether you're in my position, riding along on Cloud Nine, or somewhere in between the two (just getting along), you are wasting time.
I can hear you now, "What do you mean, Elizabeth?". Well here's what I'm talking about...
As I was waddling (goodness, I hope I don't waddle...) along the other day (in my very depressed/anxious/focusing on everything that is wrong in my life), I read a devo by Blackaby called Pressing On. The verse associated with the devo is Philippians 3:13:
Brethren, I do not count myself to have apprehended; but one thing I do, forgetting those things which are behind and reaching forward to those things which are ahead...My favorite book of the Bible is Philippians. I have found it to be so encouraging and challenging right when I need it. Whether I need a pick-up or a kick-in-the-butt, I have found it in this book. But the funny thing is, I hadn't read it in a very long time. A long time being at least two or three months (which is a long time for me). And something else I realized, I hadn't been as diligent with my devos at all. I hadn't been diligent with my prayers. I hadn't even wanted to focus on things of Him. You know why? Because I was mad. I was upset at my decision to follow His guidance because it's HARD. I was giving up...
Here's one of the quotes I stumbled upon:
The people of the world focus on what they are overcoming. Christians focus on what they are becoming.
It hit me like a ton of bricks... I thought, "Elizabeth you have been so self-consumed. So oblivious to what God is doing in your life because you are focusing on the wrong thing. You want to focus on the past and what was and what could have been without even taking God's timing and guidance into consideration. Where has God played a part in your life lately?"
A couple of my good friends use the phrase "Wow..." (drawn our to its extremities, with a semi smart-alack tone). This is what played in my head as I realized I was way off the beaten path. Far from where God wanted me.
In the verse above, I bolded the part I want you all to focus on.
...Forgetting those things which are behind and reaching forward to those thing which are ahead.BAM! Did ya feel it? It's like God is graciously slapping you.
A little bit of background to keep ya up to par, Paul is the dude writing this book (as well as a bunch of other books you can look up). Something most people don't realize, he was in prison writing these letters. He was locked up. Away from family, friends, food (oh geeze!), the entire outside world. He was in a place where most, loneliness was his only friend; yet he says to forget your past, forget your circumstances, forget the crummy things in your life that just seem too big to handle, and PRESS ON!
I know what you're thinking, "There ain't (yes, I said ain't) no way I'm gonna be able to let go of this one. It was a doosey." But I promise you, you can...
Remember that mustard seed story? The one about moving a mountain? Well he says in Matthew 17:20:
“I tell you the truth, if you had faith even as small as a mustard seed, you could say to this mountain, ‘Move from here to there,’ and it would move. Nothing would be impossible."We can do anything with God. He's already forgiven us for alllll of our sins (check out the whole book of Romans). He's even forgiven or preparing to use that moment in your life in which no one knows about. No sin or circumstance is too big for God.
So whatever it is you're trying to let go, whether it be a moment of darkness or a loss of friend, just let Him have it. Give the issue to Him. Because if we remain focused on what has been we may lose the opportunity God has for us.
And if you're not in a rut and life is great, make sure you're pressing on towards HIS goal, not your own. Otherwise, we may miss a step in God's awesome adventure in our lives. And I don't know about you, but I do NOT wanna waste life's precious minutes. I wanna live life to its fullest, led by a loving God who has amazing plans in store.
For I know the plans I have for you,” says the Lord. “They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope. (jeremiah 29:11)I'll be right by your side. Pressing on towards the goal: a heavenly prize and an awesome adventure!
In your shoes,
Elizabeth
